Yes, you can.

Yes, you can.

One of the reasons my books have sparked such love and loyalty in readers, according to them, is that I write as if anything is possible. And there’s a reason…because it is.

Is your job so mind-numbingly boring it’s dragging you to an early grave?
Make a plan, then fucking quit. 
Want to travel, but you’re worried you’ll blow your life up if you do?
One can hope that’s what happens. Work on getting your financial ducks in a row, then go to the airport. Walk in. Repeat.
Your partner always putting you down, and treating you as if they can do better?
YOU can do better. Leave. With your middle finger in the air and all the good wine.

As women, we are socialized to see our worth by how much we sacrifice ourselves for others. Have you ever heard something like this? “She’s just so selfless. She just gives and gives and gives.” Now think back…. Have you ever heard someone say that about a man? I’m going to hazard a guess here. Nope.

In that same vein, why are women expected to be waif thin throughout our lives so we don’t take up space or intimidate anyone, age without losing sex appeal, then fade quietly away? As if our lives, beyond how attractive we are to others, …never existed?
I have a handy phrase that will fix that little problem, and it’s one you may want to remember. Say it to whomever or whatever is making you feel less than the absolute force that you are….Fuck right off, mate. 

Take up space. Eat healthy, nourishing food, and remember that your body carries the brilliance that is you. It’s the vehicle. Keep it safe, clean and healthy. That’s literally all that matters. Anyone who has an opinon on your weight or how you should present yourself can…(Say it louder now for the folks in the back)…Fuck right off, mate.

When you’re in a relationship that makes you cry, you can’t just leave, right? Not without spending  years of your life trying to get them to treat you with the respect you deserve?  Nope. Anyone who truly loves you would never put themselves in a position to lose you.
Stop asking “Is that okay? Can they treat me like that? What can I do to make them love me more?”
And ask this instead: “Do I like that behavior?” “Do I feel safe, respected and loved, even when we’re upset at each other?” “If this happened to my best friend or sister, would I be okay with it?”
Spoiler alert…. If you’re asking in the first place, the answer is probably no. So when that person treats you like you’re beneath them again, what are you going to say? That’s right. Fuck right off mate.

You can do anything, change anything, move across the world whenever you choose. You don’t need anyone’s permission to chase the life you’ve always known was yours. Let’s all take a note from Sabine, Sarah, Allesia, and Grace…. and tell anyone blocking your path those four magic words.
Fuck right off mate.

…And I’ll keep writing the women that inspire us to say it.

(Got a Fuck Right Off story from your own life? Drop it in the comments!)



4 Replies to “Yes, you can.”

  1. Omg I love it, “fuck off mate” I have had those and did it. Eventually told them to “fuck off” … too many to write about. It feels good though when you do it. I’ve never let anyone trample me for long. I hate being disrespected. It’s not worth it. Just move on to the next one.

    1. Hi Linda!

      Absolutely, i’ts never worth it…. I think some people will always treat you at the minimum level of respect that you require. Always better to raise that bar and hit them with the magic phrase.;)
      Always good to hear from you!

  2. Reading your words are very inspiring! I was diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness in 2021 and was given months to live, I proved everyone wrong because I’m still here and living a healthy life. Unfortunately many people saw my illness as an inconvenience for them and when I started living and thriving stopped calling me!! So I had to weed out my garden and absolutely ” Fuck Right Off!” Thank you for your post.

    1. Hi Clare!

      I’m so proud of you for powering through the illness you knew wouldn’t keep you down! I love the expression you used…to “weed your garden.”
      That’s absolutely correct sometimes. The higher you rise, the more people will fall off and expect you to shrink yourself to meet them at their level. And you said…”Fuck right off, mate!”